Odd on So Many Levels

Allendale, S.C.

What a story! James Hines, an albino black man, 300 lbs, 6 ft 7 in tall. A preacher and funk musician!

Hines belonged to a band "J Hines and the Boys" playing such original compositions as "Funky Funk" and " "Can't Think of Nothing (Blank Mind)." He considered his guitar an instrument of sin, and gave it up when he found Jesus in the early 1990s. However, his pastor, who'd heard the music and knew how talented Hines was, convinced him to share his gift. Eventually, Hines became a minister in Allendale, about 75 miles southwest of the capital, Columbia. He bought a new guitar, playing it during services at the church he built and on a nearby Christian radio station no doubt altering the lyrics to something like "Funky Mary" or "Can't Think of Nothing Only Jesus".

But that's not where the story ends. Oh, no.

James Hines died of skin cancer in 2004. Just one little thing -- when he was buried, the coffin was too small so someone cut off his legs between the ankle and the calf, and placed them inside the casket. Only the top was open for the funeral, so no one noticed and no one said anything -- although you can't really say that. Some of the immediate family were, shall we say, puzzled at how he suddenly seemed smaller in death, and rumors buzzed around for awhile, started some say by a former funeral home worker. For some reason, the whispering persisted, and finally the body was exhumed just the other day, with the coroner's office reporting it had found "undesirable evidence".

Here's another little bit of info you maybe didn't know. Funeral directors sometimes pull up the knees or shift the padding in the coffin to make sure the body fits. In South Carolina, desecrating human remains is punishable by 1-10 years in prison. One wonders at what point expedience becomes desecration.
Hines's widow and the funeral home settled out of court.

It just doesn't stop! Today a couple months later it was announced that the funeral director's licence was revoked. His name? Michael Cave. His business? Cave Funeral Services. I don't know, with Easter just passed, it's fresh in my mind that Jesus was buried in a cave. Just another oddity about this story, wouldn't you say?